Thursday 5 July 2007

Blood on the back seat.......well not quite

I read a charming story of love reunited on another taxi blog recently and while I read it I couldn't help realising I get more fights than anything else, so in order to re-adjust the love hate balance of the universe, here's one from memory;

They approached the car with him slicing through the air with his hand and her walking alongside , face looking down at the pavement.
He opened the rear door and she sat in, he sat beside her, slammed the door shut, let down the window and said to the world outside;

Tosser; Fucking women!

Lady; May we go to Cabinteely please, thank you, I'm sorry.

Tosser; You stupid bitch, why did you put the car keys in the bag?

lady; At the door, I was told my coat would have to be left in the cloakroom, so while I was there I left my handbag in as well........ with the keys inside, I was hoping we'd dance.

Tosser; Nobody does that! leave there bag in the cloaker with the keys in!

Lady; Its quite common, girls do it all the time, there was nothing in the bag I needed.

Now to me this argument bordered on the ridiculous, so as usual in these situations I interjected.
I usually offer a humorous one such as "any blood on that seat will have to be washed off" but not this time;

Me; Why didn't you just get the bag from the cloakroom if it was an issue?

Lady; That's just it, I gave him the ticket to put in his wallet, but it's lost.

Tosser; Let me explain! I've been out with the boys all day for the Rugger, The girls were s'posed to come to Searsons, pick us up and bring us to Club 92 in Leopardstown, 'cause thats where the "team" goes, but this stupid mare leaves the keys in the cloaker, then expects me to look after the ticket after drinking gallons of Heino, now........ the fecking cloaker won't give us the stuff back until tomorrow! So I'm missing a night with the lads 'cause of this wagon!


Lady; I said you could stay with the boys and I'd get a taxi to my parents, you have a key, you could have gone on home after the club to Cabinteely.

Tosser; Ah yeah. give your parents another excuse to diss me, letting you go home alone at 1:30am

Lady; My parents have been nothing but kind towards you, they would have accepted the situation as unfortunate, Daddy would have brought me to Searsons in the morning to collect the bag and coat.

Tosser; Ah go shit yourself! You've done me out of a night with the lads and that's unforgivable. Isn't that right mate? (tapping me on the shoulder!)

Me; I think you owe your wife an apology "mate", she took time out to go into town in order to bring you and your mates to a nightclub, she sat there, sober, watching you get pissed, you lose the cloakroom ticket, and somehow it's her fault you're not with the lads?

Tosser; What about the solidarity!, it's us against them, A night with the boys remember, I'm the one hard done by here! come on pal see sense!

Lady; That's enough! stop arguing with the Taxi driver! I'm really sorry, he's so different when he's sober he's a really nice guy

Me; HMMPH!

Lady; Tomorrow when you're sober. we are going to talk this through, you will have to stop drinking or I'm going to leave you, I can't take it anymore!

With the Lady crying and him continuing to protest, I eventually got them home , she coaxed the fare from him and thanked me again.......... apologising for their! (his) behavior

I wonder what happened next day?