I thought the Welsh could sing!

Tonight most memorable was a huge Welsh guy singing along like a bag of cats to "Adeles" song "Chasing Pavements"
He was giving it loads with all the oooohs and aaaaahs and got all the words wrong, when he sang "Tasting Faces" instead of "chasing pavements", I finally broke down in tears laughing at him.
He was genuinely bewildered and seemed upset when I told him how crap he was..... in between my by then hysterical laughter!
Click HERE to View or ADD to the COMMENTS
View Irish Taxi HOMEPAGE

e-mail me at: roy@irishtaxi.net

A Lovers Tiff

It always surprises me when a couple argue in the back of the Taxi, airing your dirty linen in public isn't aDublin trait.
Last nights couple turned a common enough arguement upside down.
Unusually it was him complaining that his opinion hadn't been sought, that he had a few insights into the situation to offer but he hadn't been asked for them , and how this happened way too often.
What a puny little man!
Click HERE to View or ADD to the COMMENTS
View Irish Taxi HOMEPAGE

e-mail me at: roy@irishtaxi.net

Monday Night Out

I worked tonight because I took Saturday off for the awards, I like to do my 5 nights otherwise I feel I'm slacking.
My first job was a girl who had been out for a meal with her workmate, they do this every Monday after work and look forward to it as it helps them ease their Monday morning blues.
I think it's a great idea and everyone should try it.
By the way working Monday night was a very pleasant experience, very civilised I may do it again sometime.

Click HERE to View or ADD to the COMMENTS
View Irish Taxi HOMEPAGE

Big Mickey Money Night!

I remember from when I had a Hackney cab that the first Tuesday of every month was a big earner.
It was mickey money night, the day the children's allowance was paid, and a big night out for the girls.
I don't notice it as much now as I rarely work on a Tuesday night since I switched to driving the Taxi.
The memory of those nights came back tonight when I heard two girls say;
"You'll be busy tonight love, it's Mothers Day......big mickey money night!"
nb. A mickey is what young boys around here call their appendage.
Click HERE to View or ADD to the COMMENTS
View Irish Taxi HOMEPAGE

What if it were you?

A girl in the car told me a personal story and after she was finished I told her I'd use it on the blog, I explained that I would use a different nightclub, say she had a different colour hair and even use a different destination but she went pale and pleaded with me not to use it.
She said she thought Taxi drivers were like hairdressers, that she could tell us anything in confidence, I replied that we are exactly like hairdressers, that we relay everything, but in vague terms so as not to embarrass the individual, but the story's got to be told!
She made me promise not to repeat her story and I agreed as I knew she had given me my post anyhow!
So how would you feel if you were the subject of one of my posts?
Remember, I do my best to conceal your identity, but if you read it you'd probably realise it was you and possibly your friends would too.
Click HERE to View or ADD to the COMMENTS
View Irish Taxi HOMEPAGE

I Warned Him!

A guy (not Irish) got into my taxi outside D2 night club on Harcourt Street, he told me where he was going and then took out his phone. I told him he shouldn't ring her, that he was breaking two golden rules;

1. Never ring her (or text) after midnight
2. Never ring her (or text) while drunk

But did he listen? No! He rang her and it seemed got a poor reception, he was told to ring back in ten minutes.
I did the "I told you so", but he explained that she was on holiday in Miami and that he wouldn't be seeing her either this or next weekend.
I was able to let him off with the after midnight rule as Miami is 5 hours behind but he was still drunk! and I also wondered why he only mentioned weekends and asked him why?
He said it was an interesting story and proceeded to tell me;

They met in Lebanon in 2000, she is Lebanese and he was the son of a hight ranking diplomat to Lebanon at the time, eventually he went back home to study and after getting his degree and a job was transferred to Dublin, she was/is now working in Paris so they hooked up via the internet and rekindled their relationship to the stage were they now alternate between Paris and Dublin at weekends.

So he rang her back, began spouting off about all the "drunken" conversations he'd had with work colleagues, digging himself deeper and deeper into holes, as she was aware these were conversations best not had and which he'd never have had while sober, he continued to try explain how it was all right but I could see he was getting no-where. He even tried changing the subject by bringing up a conversation I'd had with him about Brian Keenan, an Irishman that had been held kidnap in Lebanon in the late 80's, but it was no good.
Eventually when we arrived at his house he handed me the phone saying his girlfriend wanted to speak to me!
She spoke, surprisingly, in an upper class English accent and asked me how drunk was her boyfriend, I replied "on a scale of one to ten I'd put him at eight and a half", He laughed and cried "you bastard you've landed me right in it now!".
"Told you you should never ring after midnight and while drunk, you just wouldn't listen" I replied

Click HERE to View or ADD to the COMMENTS
View Irish Taxi HOMEPAGE

The Junkie

I was asked a question during my recent radio interview which I was unable to answer at the time, the question was;
What was the messiest job you ever had?
I've thought about it and here it is;
I was queuing in traffic on Wexford street when this guy opened the door and sat in beside me, I recognised him, he was the lad that sat between the two ATM machines on Camden street begging.
He said he wanted to go to Sheriff street, buy some gear and return.
I hadn't been driving the Taxi for long and felt a little trapped, he was already in the car, OK, it was a poxy job but he wasn't intimidating, I decided to just do the job and get it over with.
As we drove to Sheriff street I spoke to him about how he got to this point and he told me the same hard luck story I've heard a million times since, he seemed a nice enough guy though and I grew to like him a little.
Eventually we arrived at Sheriff street and he left me a manky jacket as security, then walked towards a group that were hanging about outside a shop a hundred metres away.
I'm not sure why I didn't just drive away at this juncture but I decided to hang about and see it through.
He chatted with this group for a little while, then two of them left on bicycles, returning eventually, I assumed with his gear. He then returned to my cab.
Back in the seat beside me he began sweating profusely, I asked him was there something wrong but he said no, this always happened after he got his gear. It was the anticipation of his upcoming fix!
He then said he was going to get his "works" ready and with that he took a selection of syringes and needles from the jacket I'd been minding, he pointed out the various types and sizes and their general usage, he showed me the one he preferred; a particularly long needle, seemingly he was very lucky and had a scab on his groin he could pick at, extract a little puss and inject, thereby saving his veins. He explained how many of his peers had no veins left.
He reckoned the quality of the gear he'd just obtained was so good he could just mix it with the water in the toilet of the chipper beside his ATM begging spot, a much coveted spot amongst beggars which he "owned", obviously he was the king of the beggars?
Different world!

Click HERE to View or ADD to the COMMENTS
View Irish Taxi HOMEPAGE

A Charge for a Charge

A lad in the cab last night told me a story about his Uncle who is a fellow Taxi driver;
One night he was taking a lad home about whom he was a bit wary. As he was guided through a remote part of Dublin he saw the guy make a move to strike him and when he raised his arm to defend himself it was struck with a knife!
The guy shouted at him to hand over his takings, saying he'd kill him if he didn't, but somehow, probably a rush of adrenaline, the Taxi driver overpowered him and then went on to beat the living crap out of him.
The would be thief pressed assault charges against the Taxi driver, which were dropped when he withdrew charges against the thief.
You just can't win!
Click HERE to View or ADD to the COMMENTS
View Irish Taxi HOMEPAGE

Be Careful what you Say!

It was a long fare, took about three quarters of an hour. i did most of the talking, which is generally the case particularly with the early jobs, but it was the odd snippet from him that were the most revealing, just goes to prove it's not about the quantity more to do with the quality.... when it comes to Talk.
While I rambled on about various career paths I've taken, he mentioned that he had clients that worked in those industries.
Then when I mentioned a particular company he said one of his clients was the wife of the owner of a competitors company and told a nice story of how they started the firm.
Later when I got bored talking about myself (seriously it does happen) I said that he had mentioned clients in our conversation and asked was he an accountant? "No" he said, "I'm a personal trainer"
"One on one?", I asked, "women throwing themselves at you?"
"Yeah, sad middle aged women trying to keep up with the "girls" as well as fend off there husbands inevitable affair"
He may not have used those exact words, but Hey! who cares?

Now if I was to say;
A chap who was in the car last night is a personal trainer to X , she's the wife of X the owner of X company, he said she's a sad middle aged woman desperately trying to keep up with the other girls and keeping trim in an effort to stop her husband having an affair.

That wouldn't be very nice!


Click HERE to View or ADD to the COMMENTS
View Irish Taxi HOMEPAGE

Don't give up the Day Job

There was a couple in the car tonight, the lad aspires to someday be a top stand up comic.
He told me he'd already done a few University gigs that went down really well and he felt sure that he had a career in the comedy business.
My Sat-Nav inspired him to dome up with this gem!

"I'm at an age were I'd really like to own a car, but unfortunately I cannot afford one.
However, I can afford a Sat-Nav, so I'm going to get one, then I'll bring it on the bus with me and suggest alternative, quicker routes to the Bus Driver.

Somehow, I don't think he's going to make it!

Click HERE to View or ADD to the COMMENTS
View Irish Taxi HOMEPAGE

Granny's Mammy

The twenty year old girl I picked up from outside Tram-co Night Club was upset.
She'd recently got engaged to the father of her four month old baby and they were renting a small house together.
All that sounded nice, romantic even.... so why all the tears, was it alcohol maybe?
It turns out her six year old son, whom she had with another boy, doesn't want to move in with her and the Granny (her mother) doesn't want ANY of them to leave.
It seems the girl went back to school after having her first child and I'm guessing pretty much had a "normal" life, with the child's Granny more or less rearing him.
TOUGH ONE!
Click HERE to View or ADD to the COMMENTS
View Irish Taxi HOMEPAGE

Interview on Spin 103.8

This is my interview with Jonathon and Clare on Spin 103.8, I guess if you can't laugh at yourself, life is harder?;

Get your own playlist at snapdrive.net!


View Irish Taxi HOMEPAGE
Click HERE to View or ADD to the COMMENTS

It Seems I've been a Bold Boy!

Generally when I bring a girl home in the Taxi late at night, the end of the trip normally goes like this;

Roy: Have you got your keys ready to go?
Girl: Yeah, I'll get them, thanks.
Roy: Go straight to bed, you've had enough messing for one night.
Girl :Yeah, OK,... thanks.
Roy : Good girl, take care now.

All fairly innocent I thought, but tonight when the same old scenario was played out, the girl then got back in beside me!

She told me she was a senior manager in charge of a team of eight men, was well able to take care of herself and me calling her a "good girl" was patronising.

I apologised, said it was habit, born out of being a father and meant no harm.
Thankfully she let me off with a smile.
So should I stop or was she being pedantic?
Click HERE to View or ADD to the COMMENTS
View Irish Taxi HOMEPAGE

Ashamed

I had a Taxi driver in the cab last night, he does very well, works a 60 hour week and is delighted with his earnings.
He told me about his lovely four year old car and how he detests drivers with older cabs as they let down the trade.
I said I'd look out for his Taxi as we entered his estate but he said I wouldn't see it.
He takes the roof-sign off about two miles from his house, he continued to say that he has one of those meters that is incorporated into the rear view mirror and that no-one in the estate knows he drives a Taxi. They think he still works for Eircom.
"Why is that I asked"
"I'm ashamed of being a Taxi driver" he said.
"Snobby fecker", I thought!

Click HERE to View or ADD to the COMMENTS
View Irish Taxi HOMEPAGE

Barrys

Barrys hotel on the northside of Dublin City Centre, is "Copper Face Jacks" for old people, they play a selection of country music and old showband songs and it is populated by older country folk that live in Dublin as well as those up in the smoke for a "bit of business".
Tonights customer said that he'd "have a bit of a hop and that if he got lucky he might even get an auld ride"
He must've been about eighty!
I wished him luck.
Click HERE to View or ADD to the COMMENTS
View Irish Taxi HOMEPAGE

"Pay it Forward"

This guy opened the door of the cab and asked would I mind taking him around the corner to Leeson Street, he said that he was sorry and knew it was a short trip.
I replied in a not overly friendly tone as I'd been waiting fifteen minutes on the rank, that if that was where he was going, then I'd take him there.
He got in and told me that either way he'd have insisted on being taken, but if I'd argued he'd have paid only the fare, which turned out to be €5.20, but as I'd agreed he was going to give me €20.
As he got out he told me to "Pay it forward", that crap movie must have had a major effect on him!
Meanwhile a few seconds later a Chinese lad (I only mention that he was Chinese because he was) got into the car going to Pimlico and paid me €10 for another €5.20 fare.
I'd made €30 in just over ten minutes!
Pay it forward me arse!
Click HERE to View or ADD to the COMMENTS
View Irish Taxi HOMEPAGE

Doing a Midnight Flit?

I'm not too sure exactly what I got myself involved in this time!;
At 1am this morning I was flagged down on the South Circular Road by a lad carrying a large black bin liner.
I pulled in and he went to the boot (trunk) which I opened, he threw in the bag then rushed into the house and proceeded to carry out bag after bag which he piled in on top of the first one.
He then continued to fill the back seat with yet more bags as well as a small TV, a DVD player and a microwave oven, along with some cooking utensils.
He then sat in beside me, said "Don't ask" ...so I didn't, we went to a nearby apartment block where he unloaded all the items onto the pavement.
Thing is I didn't get a brass cent extra for moving the entire contents of his flat, or helping him to rob it...Whichever?
Click HERE to View or ADD to the COMMENTS
View Irish Taxi HOMEPAGE

Pity The Fools!

I really felt sorry for this poor fool, she'd gotten all dolled up in her best gear for a night at the theater, but the booking was for last Friday!
Wasn't he sure he'd booked it for the Friday after Valentines?
"Not according to the date on the ticket...... you muppet!"
She gave him lackery.
Nearly as bad was the second chap; he'd walked way ahead of his girlfriend in an effort to grab the Taxi, then tried to usher another girl into the cab whom he mistakenly believed was her!
You can imagine what his real girlfriend said when she eventually caught up, having witnessed that!
"You thought that girl was me! Don't you even know what I look like?" Was how it began.
Click HERE to View or ADD to the COMMENTS
View Irish Taxi HOMEPAGE

They Felt Done

I got four English lads going from South William Street across to Abbey Street, they'd walked it earlier in about 5 minutes using a pedestrian bridge and walkways.
The same trip took me over fifteen minutes because of the one way systems and the traffic and as the journey wore on I could hear mutterings about the cost and the time of the trip.
The atmosphere in the cab grew thick, however if I'd said that they'd be better walking before they got in they'd have accused me of refusing a fare because it was short and if I'd mentioned it during the journey they'd have said I should have mentioned it before setting off, so I really couldn't win.
I just took the fare, said nothing and forgot about it (until now).
Click HERE to View or ADD to the COMMENTS
View Irish Taxi HOMEPAGE

The night was as I'd Expected

There were lot's of couples, have you ever noticed how alike couples become?;
They seem to wear similar colour clothing and styles and somehow their facial features blend.
A gay relationship ended in the cab;
It was a bit sad, they used very eloquent language, words and phrases such as;
There should be less ambiguity,
I could give you pseudo Freudian explanations but it wouldn't help,
That's a deal breaker,
There's a distinct lack of trust,
I need to know I've got someone to catch me should I fall.
It was definitely over by the end of the trip, I'd have butted in only I didn't understand half of what they were saying.
The Horse drawn carriages did well;
They seemed to be coming and going from the "Green" regularly, with Heart shaped helium balloons attached and happy couples filling the seats, despite the near freezing weather.
A James Dean lookalike went home alone, after believing a friend who told him Valentines was a good night to score chicks?
It wasn't as busy as I'd hoped it would be, but sure what the hell
Click HERE to View or ADD to the COMMENTS
View Irish Taxi HOMEPAGE