Sunday, 30 December 2007

The Lack of Posts here

I'm very busy preparing for the New Years eve Bash that we are hosting tomorrow night, normal service will be resumed shortly
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Another note toTourists

Be careful if you rent a car with Sat Nav..... not to depend on the nearest Petrol Station feature, nearly half of the Service stations in Dublin have been developed and turned into apartment blocks.
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Note to Tourists!

It's a good idea to know the address of where you are staying, the French couple I picked up last night didn't bother with this most basic of principles.
They got into the cab and admitted straight away they had no idea where they where going. This aligned with their very poor English and my zero French made for a very poor outlook.
After a LONG "conversation" we figured out that they were staying with a friend, a fair distance out from town. (they'd paid €13 for the inbound trip in the Taxi).
That afternoon they'd been in the city centre with their friend and had used the 77 bus, I had a vague idea this went to Tallaght but I wasn't sure of the route, they also had two Luas tickets (tram) one from Abbey street in the city centre and one from James Street. It transpired they'd gone from Abbey street to James Street to go to the Guinness Storehouse Museum and had gone home from the James Street stop travelling a further 7 or so stops away, they then had a ten minute walk.
I'd picked them up in Rathmines and we hadn't moved an inch but the meter already read €10.70, we linked up with the Luas line in Inchicore and followed it along to Bluebell where they asked to get out,they "seemed" to recognise a few stops along the way, the fare at that stage was €19.90 ....I'm not sure whether we'd reached the designated stop or they'd run out of money, but I'd had enough of the detective work and left them to it.

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Thursday, 27 December 2007

Joe Dolan

Legendary Irish performer and friend of the Taxi industry (with his mid-week concerts in local G.A.A halls packed to the gills with sreaming housewives), died last night aged 68 from a brain haemorrhage, he had been suffering from ill health for a while now and he had to cancel his pre-Christmas schedule........... much to the annoyance of yours truly.
Joe was the "unlucky Tom Jones ", he had the same style and charisma and wrote similar type songs. One was sometimes mistaken for the other, this was the reason for his mediocre success outside Ireland.

Joe Sings...... Good looking Woman ....bleedin' rapid Joe............... RIP

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Tuesday, 25 December 2007


Just back from a mates gaff, completely locked, I made some racket getting the pressies out of the attic but it's all part of the legend....happy crimbo
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Monday, 24 December 2007

Garda appeal to Dublin Taxi Drivers;

Serious Assault Camden Street on the 17th December at 12:30am

At approximately 12:30 am on the 17th December a serious assault took place in Flannerys Bar, Camden Street. A young manwas struck in the face with a pint glass in a completely unprovoked attack. The young man has received over twenty stiches as a result.

Were you in the vicinity of Camden Street at this time?
Did you pick up a fare from either a single male in his twenties, or a group of males, where one was agitated, or appeared to be suffering from a hand injury, or was it bleeding?

If you have any information in relation to this matter, please contact either of the following;

  • Sergeant Kevin Joyce - 01-6669500
  • Sergeant Francis Byrne - 01 - 6669500
All information will be treated in the strictest of confidence

I was given this by a Garda outside Flannerys last night, there were 4 of them handing out leaflets and making inquiries of Taxi Drivers, the cynic in me thought this was a lot of Garda time for an assault case and wondered if maybe the victim was a fellow member?

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Christmas Break

I'm taking one ....I'm off for 3 days at least.
I hope those of you that celebrate this festival really enjoy it.
I'd also like to take this opportunity as the year is comes to an end to say a big Go Raibh mile maith agut (a thousand thank yous) to anyone that has ever bothered to take a look at this blog, I find it very therapeutic to do but I'm sure I'd get disheartened if no-one ever bothered to look in.

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Person of the Year

I was listening to a radio interview earlier about the "Life Magazine Person of the Year" which this year has been "awarded" to the Russian leader, Putin, the guest, who was a very right wing American whose name I can't recall disagreed with this and said it should have gone to a General David Someone or other who has turned around the war in Iraq, I don't think many Europeans would agree with that.
I discussed it with people in the cab tonight and the name that popped up every time was Madeline Mc Cann (possibly because I brought it up!) For me she was the person whose news story affected the most people.
Who do you think should be person of the year? You can leave your reply HERE if you like

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Gatekeeper turned poacher

For the next few days I'll be the one drunk in the passenger seat, messing with the heating and stereo controls of another's car, possibly even falling asleep!
Thankfully the other person is my ever patient and teetotal wife, who chauffeurs me around at times like these, she keeps threatening to take up the drink but so far so good.
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Sunday, 23 December 2007

A Semblance of normality

Most of the offices and all of the colleges have closed for the Christmas now and many of the country cousins that belong to them have returned home to their mammies and daddies to have the same Christmas they've had since childhood, such is tradition.
Most of the people out tonight were with friends lovers and family as opposed to work acquaintances, which has been the norm up to now in December, this made for a more pleasant atmosphere in the cab with folk seemingly happier to be doing whatever they were doing as they were doing it out of choice rather than as a chore.
Tips were also far more impressive as a result with a few €5s and even a €10 WOOOOHOOOO.
No real outstanding jobs to report on, I did drop one very pretty girl to Tallaght, she told me I was the most boring Taxi driver she ever met as I didn't have a single tale of being held at knife-point or of being beaten to a ego is suitably bruised, I'll have to organise something suitably horrendous to happen to me so I can entertain her the next time.
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Saturday, 22 December 2007

Tonights honorable mentions;

  • 90 degrees .....veering right.....100 yards..... hump!

Got a job out to Slane, a village in the back end of nowhere. Normally I take the slip road off the M4 at Maynooth keep left at the roundabout and follow my nose, but this guy tells me to take a right just after the roundabout, saying it was a shortcut, off we went down little boreens, through a series of dangerous bends taking left and right turns at unlit junctions..... throw in a few narrow hump back bridges and your nearly there.....20 minutes of this and we arrive in Clane from the wrong side. after I dropped him I took a left at the main street and about ten minutes later was back on the M4, yer man obviously fancied a bit of rally navigating or something??

  • Arise and walk
I picked up these two in Portobello, one was struggling with crutches, when I stopped he put them against the wall and walked over without any bother to the cab...strange?

  • Battling Godmothers
These two sat in the back of the Cab warring with each other over whose goddaughter was the best looking/cleverest/first walking/talking etc, it got pretty heated. I'm not sure they've got the right idea yet?

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The longest night

Well fellow children of the night..... wasn't it great? there was only a few hours of the dreaded sunshine yesterday.
It was tinged with a little sadness though, as from today we'll lose 2 minutes of darkness every night until that dreaded day in June, when I'll remain in my casket under the stairs undisturbed for the entire day.
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Ramps give me the hump!

They're the bane of every taxi drivers life, RAMPS, I hate them, in particular those ones they put down temporarily during road works, they're like a telegraph pole cut in half longways and placed across the road, they tear the shit out of the suspension.
I'm boycotting D.C.U, they have them permanently fixed on their driveway, let the students walk from the gate..... sure aren't they young and fit?

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Friday, 21 December 2007

An Irish Christmas

OK, there's a few health warnings attached to this Nativity Story sound clip;

  • It's a bit of a Dublinese comprehension test
  • Definitely not PC
  • A lot irreverent
  • Do not listen if you're easily offended

Get your own playlist at!

Edit ..(fixed)
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Thursday, 20 December 2007

Unrequited Lust

I picked up these two from the rank on Grafton Street, they'd been to Lillie's Bordello, a once glamorous hangout for celebs, fast losing this tag.
She got in first and said she was going to Rush and that we were to drop him off in Clontarf on the way. My heart sank, Rush is a suburb in the far outreaches of Dublin and would take me right out of it.
"NOOOO" says your man "take us to Rush then you can bring me home, I want to ensure this lady gets home safe"
This didn't help, the guy was polluted and I really wanted rid of him first and in any case his idea was to get into her bed, all three of us knew that.
As we drove she continued to insist he get out in Clontarf and he continued to argue to the contrary, he used all his tricks in an effort to "win her" he sang Dubliner's tunes, told her of his vast wealth, recalled the fun they had in the club etc.
By all accounts they had a good time and I feel he'd have been all right.... only she'd remained relatively sober and he was arsehole pissed.
Eventually he lost the plot and said how he could have picked up a slapper easily and how she was just a tease and worse, she was livid and asked me to stop insisting he leave the car.
I stopped and told him he was wasting his time, that he really should get out of the cab and hail another one, that it'd be a lot cheaper in the long run, I also said I was concerned about the return leg and my payment for the trip over-all.
With that he got all shirty and asked me was I looking for a fight and did I want to step outside, I gladly agreed, hoping he'd get out of the car then I could get her to close the door and leave him there, but no, he turned nice again, apologised to everyone, showed me a wallet full of fifties ....even gave me one as part payment, she calmed and off we went as before, her still insisting he was "going Home to his place"
Eventually we arrived in Rush, the fare was near enough €40 and she asked me to stop in her estate so that she could get out, (this was going to be interesting I thought) He said he'd walk her to her door, she replied that he was to stay in the car, she cried to me to stop him getting out of the car and told him that she would call the police if he came after her, she managed to get out and slam the door so I pulled off with him in the back, he sidled over to the same door she exited from and opened it, I pulled to a stop and he got out, with that I reversed back to the girl and she got back in, I brought her to her door which thankfully was a few hundred yards away around a corner, (she obviously didn't want this guy knowing where she lived?)
After dropping her I left the estate and the guy behind with a nice €10 tip, however I began feeling sorry for the poor idiot I'd left behind, he was stranded in the middle of a housing estate in the middle of nowhere....he was also unkilely to be able to guide a cab there if he called one and unlikely to see a passing cab either, I went back for him.
He hailed me down as I approached and I breached myself awaiting a conflict, but no. I could tell he didn't remember me or the cab.
"good night?" I asked, "great..." he said, "just left this bird sleeping in her bed, great shag"...... "OH! Fair play to you mate" I said, "where to?" ......"Sandymount" he said, not Clontarf as he'd told the girl, another €60 for your's truly and right back into the heart of things........ he slept for most of the trip
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Wednesday, 19 December 2007

I Dare You , Taxi for a mental patient!

The dare this time was to hail a taxi outside the Central Mental hospital while wearing a straitjacket, here's the result;

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Nine years for Violent attack on taxi driver

Dennis Creagh (25) of Coolock village, got nine years in jail yesterday (final two
suspended) for the violent assault of a Taxi driver.
He and two friends got the cab from Clonshaugh to Coolock but didn't have the €12 fare, before assaulting the driver he said "Let's kill the filthy bastard and do a runner". He then proceeded to kick and punch the poor man, fracturing his skull and causing him to lose twelve teeth.
The driver hasn't worked since the incident, probably never will again and is surviving on the state disability allowance.
Dennis Creagh should have been hung drawn and quartered!
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Tuesday, 18 December 2007

Crashed Lives

These are the new "real life" ads being aired on Irish TV, they are the most effective yet.

Here's Emmas story as told by her poor mother;

Erin's Mam would like us to wear seat belts;

Fran fell asleep at the wheel, a a warning to Taxi drivers maybe?

Miclin drank and then drove, I guess he wishes it was the police that stopped him.....

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Didn't he have any proper crimes to prevent?

An over zealous cop last spent last night circling St Stephens Green ticketing Taxis that were stopped waiting for the rank to clear, The rank was moving quite quickly but sometimes got held up while the Cabs were loaded.
Happy Christmas to you too.
(Thankfully I spotted him just as I was about to pull in behind a row of 4 Taxis he was ticketing)
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Step away from the Cab!

These two were arguing as they approached the rank, I thought, "here goes, another counseling session" but no, it was yet another typical occurrence;
She held the rear door handle with no attempt or intention of opening it, it was just a threat, he pleads with her to talk it over and so on and on this charade goes.
Meanwhile 4 girls arrive at the rank, get into the car behind me and off they go, now that was a €7.10 fare even before it took off!
When yet another fare arrived and left without me I'd had enough! I blasted the horn and gestured at the girl to either get in or move the fuck away from the cab! She was a little peeved at her game being disturbed but thankfully they continued their argument away from the rank.
The girl that did take my cab only went to Harrington Street.... a €5.10 fare! making me pissed off enough to write this!
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Monday, 17 December 2007

Everyone's doing Taxi tales!

'Tis the season to do Taxi tales!

One of my favourite bloggers Twenty Major has written a post about his yearly trip in a Taxi, he thinks it's unusual for drivers to be given sweets and stuff during trips (believe me it isn't)

Here's the post

Or this one that started off as follows;

I sit in classrooms and lecture halls, with my nose in books, my eyes glued to the computer screen for hours. I think the most important lesson I’ve learned, however, did not come from school, but while sitting in the backseat of a taxicab.

Read the rest here

I found the second one while browsing another drivers site here

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Gimme a Medal

I was driving through the Artane roundabout on my way back from Malahide after dropping off a Rep from his Christmas party, when I noticed something on the passenger seat.
It turned out to be a keycard for a Renault Laguna. I remembered the Rep telling me that he drove one while we were chatting (I was once a Sales Rep and was reminiscing with him).
He'd also said he was to be in Navan the following morning for an important meeting and that was why he'd left the party early.
I drove back the 6 or so miles to Malahide to the corner where I'd dropped him earlier, parked up the cab and walked along the road looking into the gardens for a Renault Laguna, (He'd said he wanted a smoke on the walk to the house)I was feckin' freezin' in a short sleeved shirt and it 2 degrees out! Anyway I found the car knocked him out of his bed and gave him his key (I needed to be sure it was him!) he was initially angry at being got out of the Leaba but was very pleased when he realised why.
I refused any recompense and put it down as my good deed for the Christmas.
That's it though, I can now be a mean bastard for the rest of it!
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Am I getting too Comfy?

I dropped a lad off in Dartry, it had been a quiet trip, the usual pleasantries to begin with then we listened to the MP3 player.
At the end of the trip the lad says; "I enjoyed the singing", now this phraseology is normally reserved for non English speakers but I ran with it and replied; "yeah Amy Winehouse is very good" (Valerie was playing at that moment) "No" he said, "I enjoyed listening to YOU singing along to all the songs"!
HOLY SHIT! I didn't even realise I had been singing, I'm obviously way too relaxed!
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Sunday, 16 December 2007

Too many Poles dying on the roads

Coroner Frank O'Connell has called for action on the rate of Polish deaths from road traffic accidents on Irish roads. He says there is a disproportionate number of Polish fatalities coming before his court, most perishing in drink driving related incidents.
Calls are being made to have the hard hitting road safety ads made bi-lingual and for more safety pamphlets to be issued in various languages.
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Barefoot Princess's

They were everywhere last night, girls in beautiful dresses and recent hair-dos walking around in their bare feet on the same streets where bodily fluids of every description have been spread in the not too distant past.
Surely they realise that new shoes should be "worn in", or at least they should bring a pair of flats with them.
Just a note on those "bodily fluids", we have a lot to thank the seagulls for in this regard, I see them clean up a fair bit of it early hours, I wonder what the alcohol content of that stuff is and what effect it has on the gulls?
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Saturday, 15 December 2007

Ronan Lawlor missing in Argentina / Chile

Ronan Lawlor is an Irish lad who has been missing since November 18th, he was last seen on the border between Chile and Argentina

If you know anyone living in or backpacking around these areas, Ronan's family have asked if you could contact them and ask them to pin the following details on Hostel/ restaurant etc. type walls;

Ronan Lawlor
* Tamano: 1 metro 78 cm
* Ojos: Verdes/ azules
* Complexión: Delgado
* Nacionalidad: Irlandes
* Ocupacion: Ingeniero Quimico
* Edad: 28 anos
* El es muy sociable y divertido. Lo estranamos mucho.

* Height: 5ft10"
* Eyes: Greenie/Blue
* Build: Slim
* Nationality: Irish
* Occupation: Chemical Engineer
* Age: 28
* He is very Sociable and Outgoing [/center]

This is the last post in Ronan's Blog
Alright folks,
I hope everyone is keeping well at home or on your travels. Currently I am in Argentina and I am loving it! Everything you have heard about Argentina is true... the steaks really are as big as your head, and damn tasty too! And the people really are beautiful, as are the cities and landscapes which are mercifully back at normal altitudes making getting about much easier!

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Flowers on a Pole

While listening to the radio yesterday I heard that there were traffic hold-ups at Doyles Corner in Phibsboro due to an accident, I wasn't working at the time so didn't pay too much heed, it was early afternoon and traffic in that area is awful all the time so I assumed it was just a fender bender.
Driving past tonight I saw the flowers taped to a pole on "Doyles Corner" meaning somebody obviously died there ( R.I.P ) which is doubly sad given the time of year.
So I thought I add a reminder here to drive carefully, not to drink and drive, and to wear seatbelts etc, please don't be the cause of an empty seat at the dinner table this Christmas

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Thursday, 13 December 2007

Stung by a Pisser!

This hasn't happened in ages, I knew she was a likely candidate and checked her as she left but didn't notice anything, usual deal....the guy who hailed me after copped it.... the rear seat behind me was drenched!
No wonder she got out at the entrance to the estate and sat at a bus stop, I even asked her was she OK? and she replied saying she just needed a smoke!.
The guy was very nice, sat in beside me and allowed me to bring him home, many would have baulked at the idea of a seat full of piss behind them.
After I dropped him I went to a service station, removed the seat from it's anchors, dried it as best I could with newspaper and tissue, poured on a little TCP (it's all they had in the garage) then left it resting over the passenger seat with the heat on full blast and all of the vents pointing at it, by the time I got into the centre it felt pretty dry, so I replaced it, sat on it as a test, sprayed a bit of aftershave and worked on.....NEEDS MUST!
Nobody actually sat in that spot after all (apart from me) I just took one more job; a really nice lad just up from the west of Ireland who's loving life in Dublin, so I can't report any reaction and it'll get a "proper" clean tomorrow. so alls well I suppose?

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Give us a Break!

I was given a €100 bill for a €7 fare tonight! luckily I was able to break it, but come on folks! if you're planning on using big dollar notes, (try have smaller) at least tell the driver well in advance, we don't have cash offices to call on!

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Leona Lewis...Bleeding Awful

A note to the four girls going from Hatch Street to the George;
You turned up the Leona Lewis (Bleeding Love)song on the radio, then sang along.... complete with all the WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA's and the WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO's and the AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH's?
well you were bleeding woeful
Thanks for the chocolates and the €2 tip though...... much appreciated!
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Wednesday, 12 December 2007

Katy French "Driver", House raided

Headlines in the papers today say a car dealer that operated as her "driver" home was raided as part of the investigation into her death.
A Mute point.... but did they check if he has a PSV license?
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Room at the Inn

Travel Lodge are giving a free nights accommodation to any married couple who can prove their names are Mary and Joseph!
A nice thought or another gimmick cashing in on Christmas with the free advertising?

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The Messiah

Handel's Messiah which debuted in Dublin in 1742 is a big part of Christmas here, it will be performed tonight in St Patrick's Cathedral and this year they are trying to re-create the original performance using a smaller orchestra and Choir.
For many this is the real beginning of the Christmas festivities, i'm sure a great evening will be had.
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The gossip ....Snared

This girl was brilliant! first she laid the trap;
"Did anyone say anything about me talking to Anthony?"
The gossip went full flow;
"Patty asked why you where talking to him for 2 hours"
"2 hours!" said the girl
"well i just smiled and said nothing" said the Gossip (funny how they never say anything bad in the re-telling but can blabber on now?)"Justine said it was a bit wierd as well, him being married and all" "did you see that dress Justine was wearing! Penneys best... hahahaha" "Robert had a bit much to drink, He'll not be able to look Martine in the eye" on and on she went talking about everyone and anyone.
A bit like me?????
As the gossip was getting out of the cab, (The other girl was going on further)she told the girl not to spend the evening worrying about what folk taught about her, she could tell by her face she wasn't pleased, this was when my girl let her have it;
"I'm just pissed off with all the gossip, so what if I was talking to Anthony, We're mates!, It was a Christmas party! Robert had a few drinks so what..... can't people have some fun and let their hair down? Justine's dress was lovely, you on the other hand are a complete pain in the tits!"
Love it! I told her she was great!
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Tuesday, 11 December 2007

We've got a Bleeder!

Driving through Ranelagh (the Kitchen of Dublin) I was flagged down by a waitress in uniform who was frantically waving her arms about.
I dislike these jobs, normally it's an "I'll get them out straight away", but you wait ages for the customers. Not this time though! She was back out instantly, with the chef, who had yards of toweling wrapped around his right hand, he looked very pale and grimaced as though in agony. "He sliced right through his thumb,take us to the VHI Swiftcare clinic in Balally" said the waitress. Now you'd think they'd have called an Ambulance wouldn't you?
The "swiftcare clinics" are privately run Accident treatment centres which deal with suspected broken bones, sprains and suchlike. There's also a private hospital (The Beacon) running a similar operation where I hear people even go with suspected heart attacks!
Folk are staying away from the ambulances and in turn public hospitals because they are scared of superbugs such as MRSA /the Hospital winter vomiting bug/ the long queues we read about daily in our newspapers and instead paying up front for this private treatment or using their private health insurance to pay for it, 53% of Irish people have private heath insurance ,me included.
I dropped the chef off at the Swiftcare clinic...... hopefully they did what they say on the tin!

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Monday, 10 December 2007

How Cocaine Kills

I was listening to this on the radio, it's an interview with a Doctor and I pressed record just after the interviewer had asked how do deaths from cocaine use occur. Surprisingly he never mentioned ingesting /dampness or purity,(all the reasons users gave me during conversations in the cab).

Get your own playlist at!

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Sunday, 9 December 2007

Irish Taxi Stickers may have to go!

This week I've noticed a few of my fellow Taxi drivers giving me some strange looks and not always nice ones!
Initially I thought maybe my brake lights were out but they're OK so then I tried to think if there was anything in the way I was driving might irk them but I drive perfectly!
Maybe I'm paranoid, but I think some may have been here at the blog not liked what they saw and then recognise the stickers on the back of the cab advertising the site.

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Service Station Moron

Regular readers will know that a few days ago I put petrol into my Diesel cab and luckily got away with it, tonight I went to the same service station filled up with €50 worth of Diesel (at least I got that bit right) I went in to pay and it was then I realised that I hadn't brought my wallet with me!
Thankfully I use the same service station most of the time and when I explained the attendant said it was no bother and to pay him next time.
They'll start to sell tickets to see what I do next if I keep this moronic behavior up!

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Saturday, 8 December 2007

A Typical Returnee

I picked this idiot up at 3am, it was 3 degrees Celsius, wet and windy, he was wearing a Tee Shirt;

  • Idiot: It's bleedin' freezin' out there!
  • Roy: Maybe a few extra layers might have helped, it's hardly tee-shirt weather?
  • Idiot: Ah give us a break. I'm only back a week from Fiji, I've been away for a year.
  • Roy: All the more reason you should have more layers , sure you're not even acclimatised yet.
  • Idiot: This country's a shithole, it's too expensive, nothing to see or do, the women are ugly and you have to pay a tenner to travel a 100 yards in a Taxi.

Now you can say pretty much anything to me and I'll pretend to agree with you in an effort to keep the peace for the duration of the journey, but don't slag off Ireland like that unless you want a rebuke!

  • Roy: Well the World Health Organisation, using recognised methods for measuring living standards rated Ireland the 5th best place to live on the planet, People come here from far and wide to see Georgian Dublin, The Ring of Kerry, The Cliffs of Mohir I could go on! I doubt the women think you're an oil painting either, and yeah Taxis are expensive but we have to live here too!
That's not exactly how the conversation went but all the "Antis" where mentioned during the trip and the "pros "were offered in rebuke.

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Friday, 7 December 2007

Thoughts for tonight (again)

  • For years they've been complaining the house prices were too high and first time buyers couldn't enter the market, so why the big panic now that prices are finally falling?

  • I'm feckin' knackered! goodnight!

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No lesson learnt fom Katy French Death

I had multiple conversations tonight with folk about their reaction to the death of Irish model Katy French, who only last week was all over the papers celebrating her 24th birthday.
Although not confirmed, speculation is rife that the seizure she had was the result of taking cocaine, with many doctors appearing on TV shows and Radio explaining the effects of the drug and how such a seizure may occur.
I was dismayed tonight, one by the sheer number of my passengers that admitted using cocaine and secondly and even more-so by their refusal to accept the same might happen to them.
They said things like "She must have ingested it" , "It was a pure batch from the shipment that went overboard in Cork", "It was damp Cocaine" All of which could never happen to them.
They argued how it was better than Alcohol, "users where less aggressive", " less damage was done to organs", and best of all "not fattening"
How many have to die before these idiots wake up?
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Thursday, 6 December 2007

Thoughts for tonight

  • I hope Irish "supermodel" Katy French recovers from what it seems was yet another Cocaine induced seizure incident (there have been a number of these in the news recently this being the most high profile) that sees her lingering on the brink of death.

  • Biffo's budget wasn't too bad, I might even end up with a few extra euros "i mo phoca."

  • That three hours I used up looking at the 1911 census could have been better spent

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The Repeater

I got this girl from outside Copper Face Jacks Night Club going to Santry, she was twisted, she told me she'd been refused entry to the Club (unsurprisingly) that the bouncer had told her to go get a large cup of coffee and a muffin and then to come back (not unreasonable) She told the bouncer to go Fuck himself that she'd been going there for 5 years and had never been refused before. (somehow I think she might now be refused again) Anyhow she repeated this scenario to me for what felt like a 1000 times, over and over and nothing I could say could make her change the subject. I felt like grabbing her in the end, shaking her, telling her it was only bleedin' coppers and to get over it!

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Wednesday, 5 December 2007

Six Closure Orders Served on Restaurants

Where not to eat this Christmas in Dublin;

The Food Safety Authority of Ireland today stated that six Closure Orders were served on food businesses in November for breaches of food safety legislation.

The Restaurants concerned are;

  • Shan restaurant, 6 Crow Street, Temple Bar, Dublin 2
  • La Corte restaurant, Powerscourt Townhouse Centre, Dublin 2
  • Quiznos Sub restaurant, Powerscourt Townhouse Centre, Dublin 2;
  • Caf√© Fresh,Powerscourt Townhouse Centre, Dublin 2;
  • Buona Sera Upper Kilmacud Road, Dundrum, Dublin 14.
  • Canton Garden restaurant, Main Street, Summerhill, Meath.

Dr John O’Brien, Chief Executive, FSAI today urged food businesses to be particularly vigilant about food safety in the lead up to and during the Christmas party season.

I Dare You Dublin Walking tour

More from the RTE2 TV series, this time they take some unsuspecting tourists on a bogus walking tour of Dublin.

View Irish Taxi HOMEPAGE

I've gone Dual fuel

First thing tonight I popped into my local service Station to fill up the tank, after putting in a little over €10 worth of petrol I remembered my Cab takes Diesel!
I ran through the scenario in my head;

  1. ring a breakdown truck and get the Cab dropped off at Stu's garage......€90
  2. Stu empties the tank................€70 including the lost petrol and earnings
  3. Re-fill the tank, no real cost ........I'd have to do that anyway
Total €160

Instead I went straight to step 3 and diluted the Petrol with €45 worth of Diesel hoping for the best. I drove off the forecourt with a little concern and reckoned I'd know one way or the other after a couple of miles.
Thankfully the car seems to have suffered no ill effects and I've topped up the diesel again do dilute the mixture even more.
Normally I like to see comments for my posts but this time I know I'll be told of the incredible damage I've caused to the Cab!
So I'll get my defense in first...............Sure it can't be that different to the additives I put in to clean the widgets prior to the annual test??????????????????
And if the government offer a grant for greener dual fuel cars tomorrow, I can now try putting in a claim!!

Mean Girls!

I picked up three girls from a bus-stop on O' Connell Street, they'd just missed the last bus and said they wanted to go to Donnybrook .
When we got to the destination in Donnybrook the two girls in the back went quiet for the first time all trip and the girl beside me paid the full fare of €12.70 including the €2 extra for the passengers, she then said goodbye leaving the two in the back to go further.
It turned out they were Taxi sharing and didn't know the girl that had left , they got out a couple of hundred yards further on and paid the 50 cents each that had accrued on the Meter, laughing about how the other poor girl had paid their fare.

Squeak Squalk AAAAAHG!

It rained for most of the evening and yeah you guessed it; my windscreen wipers squeaked all feckin' night, they cleared the screen well enough but the noise drove me demented, so much so that I took the wiper from the rear window and replaced the offending article.... but it made no difference!

BIFFO,s Budget

The Big Ignorant Fecker From Offaly, our Minister for Finance Brian Cowan will unveil his budget tomorrow.
We just recently elected a coalition government with a large Centre right crowd and a smaller Green bunch joining up.
Therefore I expect it to be a "Green" budget with lots of new "ECO" taxes, higher fuel tax, higher rates on large cars etc. ie. Poxy for Taxi drivers
As it's the first budget of their term I doubt there'll be very many sweeteners as they aren't looking for votes yet.

Tuesday, 4 December 2007

The Dublin Census 1911

This is a great facility to check out your Irish roots (rest of the country will be added soon)

Check it out

Blog update....... Font

I've made it a little bigger..... what do you think?

The Driver of the John Daly murder cab speaks

Taxi man says he's 'on scrapheap' after gangland shooting

Sunday Independent December 02 2007

No one in Government or an Garda Siochana has contacted or offered any kind of assistance to the taxi driver and father of four young children who has been out of work since he was caught up in the assassination of the west Dublin criminal, John Daly, seven weeks ago.

Fran Kelly, 40, had his car taken from him for a period as evidence and, unable to work, is surviving on €397 a week in supplementary benefit. He is not entitled to unemployment benefit as he is self-employed.

Tomorrow, he and his wife are going into Dublin city centre to buy Christmas presents. "It won't be much but, thank God, the two youngest won't notice. They're only two and four months," he said.

Continued here.............

Changes to the St Stephens Green Rank

I see they are extending the rank across to the other side of the road, meaning the rank will start outside the Londis shop, rather than beside the Luas Stop (light rail system, Luas is Irish for speed).
This is fine so long as everyone gets with the system and the guy parked where the rank used to start points out the" new" first cab and doesn't take the fare.
Hopefully they appoint a Garda to police it initially until everyone is clear of their responsibilities, somehow I doubt it and instead Chaos will reign, perhaps the much needed extension won't even be used!

The Meter Watchers

These are classic, folk with a certain amount of money left but are too embarrassed to say, so when the meter matches their pocket they shout stop!.
The two lads tonight were obvious from the outset, "Head out the Stilorgan Rd" they said, now the Stilorgan Road, fondly known as the dualler runs from Donnybrook past Stillorgan and on to Bray, about 25 miles I'd say, So I asked whereabouts they where going? "we'll let you know when to stop" immediately I realised their plight and wondered how much they had, I guessed around €9
just for my own amusement.
At €11 I heard them whispering to one another so knew we were getting close, one lad thinking it was €10, the other pointing out the €1 extra that had to be added. We were coming up to the flyover for U.C.D (We'd be going under unless I was told otherwise) and pedestrians aren't allowed on the road there, but I felt these guys would have got out saying they were hobbits or something if the magic figure was reached.
Luckily we made it through and at €12.70 they called time, nowhere near a residential area, but at least there was a footpath and they seemed fit enough.

The Grueler

That's what I'm about to embark on, every year at this time I work through until December 23rd and then take a week off over Christmas.
It should get busier by the day from here in with the only exception being Sundays; the better restaurants tend to close and no office parties are held that night and the normal punters tend to be partied out, so if I do start getting tired I may take a Sunday off.
Funnily enough I'm looking forward to it......... always a good buzz.

Monday, 3 December 2007

Roy's Dilemma

The nights most memorable

1, The Racist......One of our own;

Picked up this guy that had been standing beside another cab which was pulling away when I arrived. i assumed it was a two car job but I was wrong. my new passenger had refused the previous cab because the driver was black. This type of thing sickens me and what made it worse was he turned out to be a fellow cabbie!

2. Have A Coke;

Another fare was a lad who was sat beside me dipping his finger in a plastic bag and applying it to his gums. When I eventually realised this was cocaine I was livid! I yelled at him to "get that stuff out of my sight" and "what did he think he was at?" He appologised showed me the bag, said it was now empty and that he'd been out of order, opened the window and chucked the bag out.
He then turned up the radio, complimented me on the music and bopped in the seat.
The audacity of him!

3, Stung by an Aussie;

At 10pm; a quiet time of the night I picked up an Aussie girl and an Irish couple going to Stepaside, a nice longish trip ....Perfect!
As we drove along the couple were discussing how they were going to organise collecting the car in the morning and how they hoped it wouldn't be clamped.
At this point the Aussie girl piped in and said they should have said, as she could have driven the car, that she was fully insured and hadn't been drinking.
I was promptly asked to stop the car, a short discussion took place and they paid me and left, what would have been a €30 fare ended up being €6

Irelands Most Expensive "gas" Station

The Statoil service station on Ushers Quay in Dublin is Ireland's most expensive, selling both Petrol and Diesel at the extortionate price of €1.79 a litre, the most expensive I could see apart from this is €1.20 a litre.
The reason they get away with this is because Statoil are the sole suppliers of gas to state cars and this is the only Statoil Service Station in the city centre, servicing 4 major police districts as well as other official vehicles.
As well as this they are the first Filling station tourists meet as they come off the ferries and travel up the quays out of the port and not knowing any better they assume these prices are normal and fill up.
So be warned and stay well clear

Sunday, 2 December 2007


I was thinking if I had the camera with me when I got a sleeper in the cab, if I took a picture and then pixelated the face out in order to post to a rogues gallery here on the Blog would that be illegal? The papers do it all the time!

I hope you are aware that when necessary, I change the details in the stories if I feel a persons identity might be given away, unless of course it's a celebrity, they're fair game!


You may notice a new "widget" in the sidebar called "Blogrush" it's supposed to add links to blogs that people who visit this site would be interested in, and add this site to other sites in a similar vein.
So have a look and see if it does what it says on the tin, also if you do see a link to this site on another "Blogrush" elsewhere, could you let me know in a comment please?
Sure I'll give it a go and see what it's like.....can't hurt eh?

Amateur Night, Never mix your Poisons!

The Christmas Party Season has got into full swing and the company secretaries, the young office boys, the Man/Woman married a few years/heavy mortgage/new baby, whose last time out on the rip was this time last year, all think they can match the pros blow for blow, they have a couple of scoops before they leave the house to oil the tonsils, then some wine with an overly rich meal, after that they'll play let's try all the cocktails.... for a laugh.
When I see them they are throwing up on the street, asleep on public benches, and holding up walls and lamposts throughout the city.
Happens every year, it's like a circus and it'll only get worse as the next few weeks wear on.

Saturday, 1 December 2007

Blog Update (comments)

Just changed the Comments form and sidebar widget, but it doesn't show the comments from the old system, it seems I've no way of retrieving them?
Roy (in tinkering mood)
edited 8:27pm 1/12/2007

Leinster Beat Munster 10 points to 3

In what sounded like a dreadful match (3 all at half time) Leinster beat Munster last night in Musgrave park (Munster Pitch) to go top of the League.

As Dublin is in the province of Leinster, I'm delighted with this result, apologies to any Munster men/women (must be politically correct here) reading.

Leinsters new stand in Donnybrook is coming on well, this venue brings back happy memories, as a teenager I went to regular weekend discos there, which still continue to this day. The girls seem to wear far less these days though.

(Picture) Leinster's ground in Donnybrook being re-built at present.

Everyone seemed to want to argue tonight!

I didn't start work until 1:15am, so I guess I started right in the height of the busy period without any easing in.

First job was two girls and a lad, the lad thought the door seal was a seat belt and so ripped it out of its socket, he thought this was very funny and to be honest I didn't mind too much, as it had happened before and I knew it could slot back in easily enough, but one of the girls who hadn't seen what had happened and wasn't in the mood for listening complained that a Taxi shouldn't have bits hanging off like that and she had a mind to report me!

I then got a guy who said he was going to Artane Castle and then promptly fell asleep, so I drove to Artane castle and woke him up. He got into a proper strop saying I'd past his house which was off the Malahide road. I explained that he had said Artane Castle when he got in, he argued that that was just a local landmark and that he was only going to pay his normal fare which was about a Euro less than what was on the meter. I didn't argue, brought him home and accepted his offer.

Next up was a guy off the top of Harcourt Street going to Rathmines, I said he'd be better off getting a cab at the junction a few yards back as Harcourt Street was one way and I would have to travel a big circle in traffic just to get back to there. His immediate reaction was that I was refusing the fare and that I had to take him, so I said it was no bother to me and to get in. Three minutes later his mind seemingly wiped clean of the previous chapter, he was complaining about the traffic and of how we were going around in a big circle! By the time we were nearing the spot where he got into the car he was apoplectic and threatening violence. I pulled in alongside two Gardai and explained what had happened and they then tried to reason with him with no effect. Eventually he got out of the cab and walked off yelling abuse, I was just happy enough to be rid.

Thankfully it got better after that.......but there's no doubt about it...... the silly season has kicked off.

And the winner is?

The Dublin Fire Brigade Calendar Competition has been won.

The odometer reads 146,386 which by my calculations makes Stonedog the winner.
Congratulations! If you'd like to e-mail me @ (replacing the AT with @) with an address I can post it to................'I'll sent it on A.S.A.P.

In the past 18 days (I've worked only 12 of them) I've done 1477 miles, which divided by 12 is about 123 miles a night, a little below average I'd say.