Sunday, 22 July 2007

I feel so used time I'll charge!

I picked up an Italian girl from the green going to City west, a 40 minute journey.
typical Italian, dark hair, skin and eyes , beautiful figure, she spoke constantly , asking me continuous questions about my job, the weather, Dublin etc, etc. etc.
I was quite flattered with this beautiful girl being SO interested , but at the same time it was a bit of a pain, I struggled sometimes to understand her accent and she was constantly making errors with tense and grammar.
Eventually, when I got her home she paid the fare, and thanked me for the conversation...... she found Taxi drivers very useful for improving her English!
I felt so used! I'm getting a sign ..............English lessons €5 extra!

Saturday, 21 July 2007

Love in the workplace

Nice girl in the car tonight with a bit of a dilemma;
Her work colleague has sworn his undying love for her.
This is understandable on two counts;
Firstly, she was a lovely girl.
Secondly, working in close proximity to someone you build up a relationship easily, having lots in common (work and work colleagues).
In this instance he's mistaken friendship and intimate chats about both their lives as more than she'd imagined.
Thing is, this guys Married and about 12 years her senior (early 30s V mid 40s) although she said she'd be going out with him if he wasn't married.
I can sense big trouble brewing!

Harry Potter mania

Tonight was all about the new Harry Potter book which on sale at midnight, there where hundreds of people outside nearly every bookshop in town...... and there are many!
From about 9pm they stood in the lashings of rain being entertaind by fireaters and various people in costume handing out freebies. Later it was like a cult with thousands of them walking about with their little orang Harry Potter bags

Monday, 16 July 2007

The Navigator

Had a gent in the Taxi tonight who insisted on navigating rather than telling me where he was going, the guy was a fool!

Some rules on navigating;

Never say "It was that turn there"

Never ask the driver to "turn left or right at a roundabout", here in Ireland we can only turn left off a roundabout, just say which exit to use , ie; " Leave at the second exit"

Never say "this turn or the next turn", be specific! say second(or whichever) turn on the right/left, if you wish us to ignore or not count any lane-ways that might be there, you'd better mention that too!

Remember colours don't exist in the dark! just shades of grey and black, so don't say pull in at the blue car or it's the one with the pink wall, just because you know the colour of your wall or car, I can't see it at midnight!

Better still, just tell me where you are going , I don't like mystery tours!

Rant over

Roy over and out!

Sunday, 15 July 2007


Decided against the Karaoke thing after discussing it with friends and family, went instead for an MP3 player that plugs into the car stereo. It's great! 40 gigabyte, I have all the songs from my PC transferred onto it, they're all sorted into play-lists by Artist, Genre, year etc. Work hasn't been this much fun in a while. Led Zeppelin anyone?
Good few days business-wise recently! what with Rod Stewart playing two sell out shows in the R.D.S (Royal Dublin Showgrounds)
The Leinster football championship final was on earlier today to a sell out 83,000 crowd, Mighty Dublin winning a third final in a row! beating Laois 3:14 to 1:14.
This should make for an extra busy night tonight.
Promise to be a bit more verbal in future.
Roy ...over and out

Monday, 9 July 2007

Karaoke Taxi......I've officially lost it

The local Argos, (catalog store) is selling off a mobile DVD player with 2 mini screens for €109
I'm thinking of buying it for playing karaoke tracks in the Taxi!
Have I gone completely mad?
I was also going to run stills with the pictures from the blog as well as ads for the blog and my forum.
What do you reckon?

Thursday, 5 July 2007

Blood on the back seat.......well not quite

I read a charming story of love reunited on another taxi blog recently and while I read it I couldn't help realising I get more fights than anything else, so in order to re-adjust the love hate balance of the universe, here's one from memory;

They approached the car with him slicing through the air with his hand and her walking alongside , face looking down at the pavement.
He opened the rear door and she sat in, he sat beside her, slammed the door shut, let down the window and said to the world outside;

Tosser; Fucking women!

Lady; May we go to Cabinteely please, thank you, I'm sorry.

Tosser; You stupid bitch, why did you put the car keys in the bag?

lady; At the door, I was told my coat would have to be left in the cloakroom, so while I was there I left my handbag in as well........ with the keys inside, I was hoping we'd dance.

Tosser; Nobody does that! leave there bag in the cloaker with the keys in!

Lady; Its quite common, girls do it all the time, there was nothing in the bag I needed.

Now to me this argument bordered on the ridiculous, so as usual in these situations I interjected.
I usually offer a humorous one such as "any blood on that seat will have to be washed off" but not this time;

Me; Why didn't you just get the bag from the cloakroom if it was an issue?

Lady; That's just it, I gave him the ticket to put in his wallet, but it's lost.

Tosser; Let me explain! I've been out with the boys all day for the Rugger, The girls were s'posed to come to Searsons, pick us up and bring us to Club 92 in Leopardstown, 'cause thats where the "team" goes, but this stupid mare leaves the keys in the cloaker, then expects me to look after the ticket after drinking gallons of Heino, now........ the fecking cloaker won't give us the stuff back until tomorrow! So I'm missing a night with the lads 'cause of this wagon!

Lady; I said you could stay with the boys and I'd get a taxi to my parents, you have a key, you could have gone on home after the club to Cabinteely.

Tosser; Ah yeah. give your parents another excuse to diss me, letting you go home alone at 1:30am

Lady; My parents have been nothing but kind towards you, they would have accepted the situation as unfortunate, Daddy would have brought me to Searsons in the morning to collect the bag and coat.

Tosser; Ah go shit yourself! You've done me out of a night with the lads and that's unforgivable. Isn't that right mate? (tapping me on the shoulder!)

Me; I think you owe your wife an apology "mate", she took time out to go into town in order to bring you and your mates to a nightclub, she sat there, sober, watching you get pissed, you lose the cloakroom ticket, and somehow it's her fault you're not with the lads?

Tosser; What about the solidarity!, it's us against them, A night with the boys remember, I'm the one hard done by here! come on pal see sense!

Lady; That's enough! stop arguing with the Taxi driver! I'm really sorry, he's so different when he's sober he's a really nice guy


Lady; Tomorrow when you're sober. we are going to talk this through, you will have to stop drinking or I'm going to leave you, I can't take it anymore!

With the Lady crying and him continuing to protest, I eventually got them home , she coaxed the fare from him and thanked me again.......... apologising for their! (his) behavior

I wonder what happened next day?

Monday, 2 July 2007

A big Thank you

To Justin Timberlake, R.E.M and the Gaelic Athletic Association for making it a very lucrative weekend for us Taxi drivers.

Rejected in Ranelagh

She was standing, waving frantically at me to stop, she was wearing a little black dress with spaghetti straps, my first impressions suggested she was a stunner and as I pulled up to let her in my gut instinct was confirmed......... her face was, let's say, very pleasant on the eye and to top it all, she had a nice Sligo accent.
"Ballyfermot" she said, adding "it doesn't pay to be nice these days you know!"
It is unusual for people living in Ballyfermot to be socialising in Ranelagh, as it's quite a distance and well off any direct route, so I asked "was she lost? and also what she meant by her, "not paying to be nice comment?"
She smiled and agreed it wasn't her usual hunting ground, but that she had been doing a friend of a friend a favour by entertaining a fellow Sligo person who was home from New York and caught at a loose end.
She duly obliged and chatted, laughed and danced with this individual for the evening, seemingly getting on very well and finished off sharing a Taxi to his home in Ranelagh.
She had shared the cab fare, left the car and walked with him to his doorstep, it was at this point he said "goodbye" entered his house and shut the door in her face! Leaving her on the porch alone, I'd picked her up a few moments after this!
I was dumbfounded! eventually I uttered "His loss!" she agreed saying he wouldn't be getting a second chance.
I've no idea what this guy thought he was doing the numbnut!