FAQs........Answered

Are you busy tonight?
No it's been awful! In fact the whole week has been a disaster, I'm barely able to put food on the table! Please tip generously.

Anyone ever run off without paying?
Yes! In fact I've had nearly twenty so far this week! I'm having a hard time putting food on the table, please tip generously.

Ever get any Pukers or pissers in the car?
Yep! I had a girl tonight puked right were you are sitting! Thankfully it wasn't too liquid, so I just scraped it off and sprayed some aftershave on it.
Last night I had a pisser! same place, right were you are sitting, couldn't pay the soiling charge and I had to take the night off to let it dry out, meaning I'm finding it hard to put food on the table, please tip generously.

Can I smoke?
No

Can I eat?
No

Can I Drink?
No

Can I turn the music up?
No

Can I .......................
No

Poor old lady?...or a chancer?

She looked OK, standing on the kerb outside the Camden Court hotel waving me down, an elderly lady.... a safe fare, so I had no problem stopping to let her in. "Ranelagh" she said in an upperclass accent ......not very far........ I'd expect around €7 for the trip, "very good!" I said, turning around to greet her.
It was then I noticed she was wearing a swimming hat! One with rubber flowers attached, the type popular back in the 60's, she smelled of talc.... A fragrance I now associate with prostitutes, (a few times I have ferried them to and from their place of employment , but that's a tale for another day!) her clothes were old, I classed her as an eccentric, she asked if people ever left the car without paying and I replied "ah yes runners! I've had one or two, but I didn't get this belly chasing them..... and what's the point? They're hardly going to have the money if I catch them" this is a well rehearsed reply to that question, which normally gets a bit of a laugh.
This ladies response was unexpected; she said, "well.. I'm not paying you either" I'll admit to being surprised by this and thought at first she was joking, quickly realising she wasn't, I got a little angry, then I just resolved to get her home, thinking it wasn't really that big a deal!
As she left she smiled, thanked me for a pleasant journey! I snarled at her!
Later that week I was in Donnybrook, in the Shell service station about to pay for my Diesel when I spotted her again , same attire, she took a bottle of orange juice from the fridge, opened it took a sip, then placed in the bag she was carrying and walked out, I turned to the cashier and asked had he seen that? he replied "ah... that's mad Mary, sure what's the point!"
Well I know I won't be stopping for her again!

They left their halos in Eddies toilet.

Eddies

Click to enlarge

This is every Dublin kids favourite restaurant, it makes no excuses for trying to replicate the American Diner of the 50's, right down to the smirky waitresses and the juke box on every table.
A month or so ago I picked up two girls, both in school uniform from the Herbert park road, as soon as they got in the car I realised they'd been drinking, they were more giddy than anything else, a type of forced drunkenness you get with younger folk, they wanted to go to Eddie Rockets which wasn't too far away, so I happily obliged, a longer trip with all the wailing would have been difficult to take!

On the way it began to rain and the girls asked if I'd mind waiting on them while they were in Eds..... I explained it would be expensive to have a cab wait while they ate, but they intervened saying they just wanted to use the toilets and that they'd be out quickly, I caved and waited, eventually they appeared, and what a transformation! gone were the uniforms, replaced by the shortest of mini skirts you can imagine and boob tubes to match!
I knew instantly they were going to the Wes, a teenage disco in Old Wesley Rugby club, as this was the standard attire of the girls attending, the school bags.... now containing their School uniforms, would be buried in a hedge within the Rugby grounds and the re-transformation would happen back in eddies after the disco.
I've no idea what their parents think they were doing!

Accident..................

I had planned to contrast the two groups that were out in the city tonight , we had the start of the Dublin pride week celebrations, with the lads dressed up in top designer outfits behaving impeccably , compared to the pre gaelic football match crowd......... all macho in their county colours, looking for lapdancing clubs and prostitutes.
However I came across an Horrific accident at the extremely busy Newlands cross junction, in the Clondalkin area of Dublin, it was caused mainly by faulty traffic lights; they were set green for one group only and after waiting for a filter allowing him to turn right, a small hatchback car, frustrated by the obviously broken lights, drove headlong into a saloon car traveling at speed towards it.
The car folded so much that it looked almost as though it was flat against the drivers window. As there were six or seven other cars that had witnessed and gone to the aid of the crash victims, I decided to continue with my passengers to their destination.
Upon my return the ambulance and fire services were working at the scene, A medic was sitting in the rear seat of the hatchback seemingly talking to the driver? I told a policeman on duty I had seen the accident earlier, but he confirmed they had a good handle on what had occurred.
I hope and pray that everyone survived with minimal injuries.

Behind every great man............

I'm next on the St Stephens Green rank, I spot this guy crossing the road, coming from the exclusive St Stephens Green mens club, dressed in a Tuxedo...... a little shaky from the drink, my fears were realised as he sat in beside me, he spoke as though he was shouting instructions from the sidelines at a Rugby match!
HELLO! MY MAN!! take me home to the CROCODILE!
Where is that? I asked
HOME! HOME to the CROCODILE! Brighton road in FOXROCK!
Brighton road is where Celtic kittens (the young millionaires) dream of going to die. Houses here have Mansion proportions are generally 4 storey over basement with indoor and outdoor heated pools, cinema, tennis courts , you know the deal, rarely change hands, the last one I know of sold for €56 million.
I was looking at a lion of the business world here, belonging to the "CLUB" suggested as such(members need to be proposed, seconded and voted in) his address propelled him into the highest echelons of this society.
So imagine my surprise when upon realising it was 10:30pm he regressed into a snivelling child saying he was in terrible trouble as he'd told his wife(the crocodile) he'd be home at 10pm.
I asked was he supposed to be relieving her so she could do something? he said No that he'd been allowed go to the Club on condition he was home by 10pm.
we spent the rest of the trip discussing excuses as to why he was late home , the obvious and true reason that he 'd lost track of the time, was deemed unacceptable early on. He decided on the first taxi breaking down and awaiting a second that the first had called. I doubt he'll be let out again for a while!
Moral of the story? behind every great man there's a great woman , behind every Lion there's a Lioness, or maybe a crocodile!

How to get a Taxi in Dublin, between 2 and 5am on Saturdays and Sundays.

People queuing at the College green rank

Click to enlarge

The Ranks;
Stay well clear........ think about it!
Taxi drivers don't know what they are going to get when they pull up on a busy rank, wheras on the street we can see that someone is holding himself up and behaving in a sane manner. Ranks are designed for Taxis to queue for customers not vice versa.

Outside the Pub/Club
Come on!............ get serious
Generally at this time there are large groups of people gathered outside these venues, if a Taxi stops for an individual that flags it here, a fight can ensue as to who the Taxi is for, with doors being manhandled and blood on the seats.

Sitting on the kerb or leaning against a lampost,waving;
Yeah...............you guessed it.
If you can't hold yourself up, you need time to sober up....... maybe you're tired? Well I don't know that!

Outside the Takeaway with or without food;
Not a hope mate
Worst case; onions, ketchup, bits of bread ....all over the upholstery. Best case; greasy hands wiped on the upholstery and the smell of taco fries being breathed all over the cab, no thanks!

Walking towards city centre (that's where all the Ranks are!)
Nice try nearly there.
The closer you are to town the less likely you are to get a Taxi, that's where the work is so you'll be competing with more and more people the closer you get to town.

Walking away from the city centre heading northside, on the pavement, a couple, seemingly sane;
Yeah ok, I'll pick you up if i'm desperate.

Walking away from the city centre heading Southside, on the pavement, a couple, seemingly sane;
Perfect in you get. (Southside suburbs have more work for the return journey!)


View Irish Taxi HOMEPAGE

Landsdowne Road stadium, and the Northside/Southside devide

Landsdowne Rd. Cranes in situ and the roof of the West stand removed.

click to enlarge

The oldest Rugby stadium in the world is finally being re-built into a fully seated, 60,000 seater corporate boxed one fit for the modern professional game.
Both the International Rugby and the Football games have been transfered over to Croke Pk on the dreaded Northside of the city, now I often need to go over there to drop people off at their homes (I sometimes can't tell they are northsiders from how they look) and the Airport resides over there, but being a good Southsider I would never venture over there looking for fares!
Thankfully the government have given us the M50 motorway, that allows a speedy escape from the airport to the leafier Southern suburbs and a Tunnel to bring us into the City centre.
Hopefully I won't have to wait too long before the Rugby is back in it's rightful home. ;-)

I'm sure a Norhtsider will eventually come on here with a suitable response. :-)

The most complicated Taxi rank in the world?

The rank on College green, Dublin, must rate highly in this regard!

This Sat picture must have been taken at 7 am on Sunday morning!!

Step 1;
Enter the holding area at Fosters place and await for a cab to flash it's headlights at you, thereby "giving you last" This will be the car you follow from the holding area.

Step 2;
You must look out for the next cab entering the holding area and flash your headlamps at it, thereby giving that cab "last". Your job now is to keep a beady eye on the cab that gave you last. (this is not always easy, as the cab may not necessarily be visible from where you end up parking, so stepping out of your cab to check from time to time may be necessary until you find a more appropriate vantage space)

Step 3;
If the cab that gave you last gets a fare from his radio , before it leaves the driver must seek you out and inform you from whom he got last, this will now be the cab you follow from the holding area, if however he leaves in turn you then become "next"

Step 4;
Being next, you must turn your attention to actual rank on College Green, (when you see a space free) it's located on the island in the middle of a normally busy six lane roadway, which means you must navigate across 3 busy lanes of traffic to enter it.

Step 5;
After eventually making it on to the rank alive, you must queue in line for a fare.

Step 6;
After getting a fare you now leave the rank onto the inside and fastest moving lane of traffic, many a side panel have been creamed at this point!

Beat that!

Contagious Diseases

Another hazard of the Taxi business is our exposure to coughs, colds, flu and every other contagious illness known (and unknown) to man.
I hate when some new bug comes to town , I just count down the days to when I get it.
I think after 12 years in the business I've become immune to most of the day to day bugs spewed about the cab, but now and again a new one creeps up and bites me....... the worst so far being the winter vomiting bug; As the name suggests you lose quite a bit of weight over a 48 hour period, originates in hospitals of all places.
My biggest fear is the next super flu bug, H5N1 or whatever they will call the next one, I fail to understand why Taxi drivers are not on the emergency vaccine register, we're obviously expendable.

Inspired by DC cab riders Contagious post

Dodging Pedestrians, remember...... their mothers love them

Video; Pedestrian dodging for beginners;



This Video taken at 5am on Monday morning, 18/6/2007, with the sun beginning to shine on the leftovers from the previous nights party, will only give a slight idea of how Dubliners take to the street after the pubs and clubs close, try and imagine ten times the numbers and a little more drunk and that'll give you an idea.
Always remember their mothers love them and would get very upset if you damage them.